The Miracle Yeast

A Difficult Childhood Since my high school and college years, always I have strived to do my best in school and hoped that someday I could contribute to society and make a difference for the world. It is not because I felt I was outstanding or smart; rather, it was rooted from my troubled childhood, marked with lingering illness that made me feel I was weak and worthless. Thus, I nurtured a strong desire since childhood to be as “good” as others when I grew up. I was lucky. I was born into a middle-class family in Tai-city near Shanghai and Nanking in China. My parents were educated and highly open-minded, which was somewhat unusual in early 20th century China. For example, to my knowledge, they never expressed regret for not having a son. Even being the second daughter, I was very much loved by my parents. I was often sick, always very weak and without the same level of energy as most other kids. Worst of all, I also looked dumb. Kids around me made me feel I was stupid and lazy. Many times, I told myself I might not be able to change my dumbness, but I would never be lazy. By that time, I was about five to six years old. My luck changed when my family moved from Mainland China to Taiwan in 1949. Perhaps the subtropical weather suited me; my health greatly improved. In another turn of events, my sister was not accepted by the best Taipei junior high school, which my father tried to arrange for both of us to attend, because she would graduate from junior high too soon after the intended enrollment. This school’s policy was not to accept new students to their graduating class. The tradition for most Chinese families during those years was for the older child to take care of the younger siblings. The younger ones had to accept the command of the older brother or sister. In my case, it was even more extreme. My mother felt I was so weak that my older sister should take care of me all the time, particularly in school. Consequently, I had to listen to my sister and let her make all my decisions regarding school activities. This made me feel like I was incapable to make decisions. So, when I had to attend school without my sister, I had to start to make decisions and be responsible for myself on matters related to school activities. I found that I COULD make such decisions; in fact, I felt good and liked to make decisions for myself. In a year or so, after we moved to Taiwan, not only my health had improved, but I also became a very good student. In high school, I became one of the top students in my class and I often served as the class president during those years. Before I moved to Taiwan, attending school was another routine such as eating and sleeping. I just went through with it; neither making any effort to study nor caring about becoming a good student. I felt I did not belong to that class. So, parents should be alert if one of their children is over shadowed by another and try to make efforts to change that. I believe if I had not been separated from my sister during my junior and senior high school years, I would have grown up to be quite a different person, and I probably would have lived a very miserable life, depending mostly on others. I doubt I could have passed the difficult entrance examination to attend National Taiwan University, the most prestigious university in Taiwan at the time. Especially, I probably would never have been accepted as a student majoring in chemical engineering, which required a higher entrance examination score than most other disciplines. By sharing my childhood story, I want to urge young people to never give up, even though they might be perceived as unintelligent, or not able to do anything. Besides, no one can see inside you. Only you can do…. that. For example, I was not really that dumb after all. My life turned around rather quickly once I learned to keep striving towards my desired goals. I transformed myself from at best an average student to a good student in less than one year simply because I started to believe in myself and to work hard on my schoolwork. Most important, I realized I wanted to become a good student. Ancient Chinese scholars have passed on many valuable teachings to guide young people on how to improve themselves. Those teachings influenced me significantly. So, I wish to pass them to you, my young friends. One of those teachings is “勤能補拙 qín néng bŭ zhuό”, which means that being diligent can make up for one’s lack of intelligence. I often recited this good advice to myself and worked as hard as I could when I moved to Taiwan and started to attend a different school without my sister. It was true that by constantly practicing this good teaching, I empowered myself to become wiser and more capable of concentrating on studying and making good choices. I have been able to overcome many deficiencies over the course of my life, but still I don’t always feel confident in myself. This mindset might not be all bad; indeed, it could even be a blessing because it makes me always be cautious and self-critical and to work as hard as I can to improve myself.