Choiceless
A Birthmother’s Story of Love, Loss & Reunion
by
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When the sound began to emerge from my open mouth, it was a low, mournful groan from deep inside. I began to sob. I cried to release all of the fear. I cried to release the indecision and uncertainty. I cried to release the sickness and the anger, the sheer exhaustion of the past several weeks. I had held it together when my mother unleashed on me her fury and disappointment. I rejected the looming sadness that threatened when my once-adoring father passed by without speaking. The boss that fired me did not break my spirit. The family doctor heaped blame and shame on me, and I just walked away. I toughed out the morning sickness. By God, I had held it together. But, this was too much! It was the final blow! My lover, my best friend, the one person who should be my trusted ally had broken my heart and crushed my soul. The days and the weeks of stress and sickness came crashing down on me in that moment, and I continued to bawl.
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About the Book
This memoir details the events and emotional struggles surrounding the author’s teen pregnancy in the 1970s Midwest. Shunned first because of her interracial relationship and second for her out-of-wedlock pregnancy, Ruby Cornelius ends up against her will in “the home”—a place created to temporarily house and hide the shame of these girls’ condition. Spanning more than four decades, the author poignantly shares a journey of motherhood lost and gained.
About the Author
Ruby Lee Cornelius is a mother, grandmother, and business owner. She is a lifetime musician, singer, and recent songwriter. For the past five years, Ruby has been researching and writing about the topic of adoption, focusing on the ever-changing relationships and emotions in the triangle of adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents. Raised in a Wisconsin, working-class family, she currently resides in the Pacific Northwest. Visit her at:
www.rubyleecornelius.com