My Fakebook Father

Okay Reverend Daddy I said and I’ve been calling him that ever since, so I guess technically he named himself. Aunt Pretty was the only relative of Reverend Daddy’s that we were allowed to be around and she was like a grandmother. Reverend Daddy’s mother passed away when he was a senior in high school. Aunt Pretty was old school and Reverend Daddy approved. She was a true woman of God, from one of the churches of God where you can’t join in, you’d have to be born in it. Yep, I was born into this cult and we couldn’t do much of anything unless it had to do with church, going to church or discussing church in the car on the way home from church, when we were going back to church. We weren’t allowed to listen to music unless it was gospel music, and I had to sneak and listen to non-gospel music quietly in my bedroom Why Am I Crying Because I’m not perfect Like my perfect pictures In my perfect mind Because I make mistakes Because there’s more to come To do… Because I know too much And nothing at all Because I see to clearly That I’ve given my pearls to swine Till I was 30 not years old And still can’t get nobody To hear me Listen to me Feel me… I knew I could always depend on my godmother to take me away from Reverend Daddy just like Calgon, away from responsibilities so I could be a child. I longed to just play and have fun with my weekend friends. I was living for the weekend. The only affection I was getting came from the devil-god father, Reverend Daddy didn’t have an affectionate bone in his body, well at least not for me. The only person that seem to give me any attention or spend time with me was the devil-god father. His motives were not good but I didn’t know it because I was in elementary school. He’d been doing this for a long time, not every weekend, just most weekends, summer vacations and holidays I spent in his home. When he didn’t do it, I was confused and did not understand why he didn’t or even if I had done something wrong. Am I not good enough, am I being punished, why are you rejecting me too? Augh!!! Not again we just went through this a couple weeks ago, what did I do? I didn’t understand, I was a child how could I. He took advantage of my innocence and my trust. We went to all of the amusement parks and come to think of it my cousins never came along with us. Our parents would give us instructions and a time to meet back at that same location, and for us to stay together at all times. We three girls were never allowed to get our hair wet or get into swimming pools to ensure that we didn’t get our hair wet. Mama did not want to be pressing three heads while on vacation, and who could blame her. After meeting for dinner, we were warned not to get wet after a certain hour before being released back into the wonder of Disney. Later that evening when it was time to meet up with our parents, my brothers wanted to get on the water ride but I didn't because I didn't want to get wet or beaten. Now because we all had to stay together, we all got on the ride. My sister's and I got in the front of the ride so that we could duck and possibly not get wet however, that didn't work. When we got off, we were all soaking wet and drenched. When our parents saw us, it was a wrap. Reverend Daddy scolded us all the way from Anaheim to Carson back to Aunt Mary’s house warning us we were all in trouble and we were. We lined up for our family group whippings and everyone wanted to be last, hoping that Reverend Daddy would be tired by the time he got to you but no such luck. One time my baby brother Numbers put a book in his pants thinking that Reverend Daddy wouldn't notice it, even to this day we still don’t know what he was thinking. My first paycheck came with a bill. Reverend Daddy sat me down and showed me three different bills, the phone bill, the PG&E bill (Pacific Gas & Electricity) and the water bill. He said that I had to help out and I needed to choose which bill I wanted to pay. Of course, I didn’t want to pay any of his bills when he had been paying them just fine before I got my first job paying $2.35 an hour. Reverend Daddy said that these three bills vary from month to month but the phone bill mostly remained the same so I chose to pay the phone bill. Sometimes my three brothers and I all of working age were forced to work in the summer, bring our cashed paychecks home and give them to him along with our check stub so that he could make sure we turned in all of our money. Reverend Daddy didn’t trust us only church people. After forcing us to pay our tithes and offerings to him and paying our chosen bill he would give us money to catch the bus and a little extra to spend. He would give the rest of it to Mama, who at the end of summer would use it to buy all six of their children's school clothes. Mama always went along with whatever he said as if sometimes she didn’t even have a voice of her own. That was the way it was back then when men were in charge of the household. I was of a different breed and began to change things, going against the grain.