Gun Oil and Teddy Bears
Surviving Shame, Fear and Suicide; to a Life of Freedom
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
The cold blue steel felt so foreign to my mouth. I could smell the gun oil used to condition the metal of the barrel and it caused my throat to lurch. I was scared I would vomit before I was able to complete the job ahead of me. Not wanting my lips or teeth to touch the tip of the barrel I tried to hold the end of the shotgun almost in a suspended angle. God help me!!!! Standing in the corner like a hidden sentry, shielded by covers of clothing so it is unseen if the door was to be opened, the darkness cloaking its presence. No one was to ever approach it unless accompanied by the owner or having permission. I had neither. Tall dark and ominous! I knew of its existence even before it took residence in that closet. It moved into our new house the same time as we did. Now it was to be my rescuer.
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
This is a story of redemption. Because of an incident that happened to a very young child, she began to look for ways to hide he shame and secret. Knowing in her heart she would be cast aside if people found out, that small child attempts suicide with her father's shotgun to end her pain. Failing the attempt, the story goes forward with plans of murder, torture and plans of prison until she gets blindsided by God.
About the Author
She has lived through suicide attempts, depression and feeling total lack of self worth. Wanting to give up on life; she was able to find a lifeline to a better understanding of how precious she really was to so many others and especially to God.