Faith & Sexuality

For many LGBT+ individuals, the church can be a source of trauma and pain. This is particularly true for those who grew up in conservative or fundamentalist religious communities, where homosexuality is often viewed as a sin or a mental illness . In this chapter, I will share my own story of growing up in a church that condemned homosexuality, and the impact that this had on my sense of self and my relationship with spirituality. As a child, I was raised in a conservative evangelical church that taught that homosexuality was a sin and that those who engaged in same-sex relationships would go to hell. I was also taught that homosexuality was a choice, and that with enough prayer and faith, individuals could overcome their same-sex attractions. These messages had a profound impact on my sense of self. As I began to realize that I was same sex attracted, I felt as though I was fundamentally flawed and that there was something deeply wrong with me. I tried to suppress my same-sex attractions and prayed fervently for God to change me, but nothing seemed to work. The messages I received from the church also made me feel as though I had to hide my true self from others. I was afraid that if I came out as gay, I would be rejected by my family and friends, and that I would be condemned to an eternity in hell. This trauma and fear continued to impact me throughout my childhood and into my adulthood. It was not until I began to explore more progressive and affirming forms of Christianity that I began to heal from these wounds. The focus of this section is to examine how individuals who have faced rejection or condemnation from their church can experience trauma and its effects. Additionally, this segment will investigate how these emotional wounds can influence a person's spiritual connection and self-perception. During my childhood, I had a strong connection to my spirituality. My family, who had been involved with the Anglican church for four generations and taught me the significance of faith from a young age. As a child, I even encouraged my family to hang a cross on our home's wall. It came as no shock when I wrote "priesthood" and "saving the world" as my desired professions in a time capsule during my third year of primary school. As I grew older, I realized that my sexuality was the cause of significant traumatic episodes in my life. Being same sex attracted, I was often bullied in high school and in my local church. I struggled to reconcile my spirituality with my personal identity and felt as though I had to hide or suppress my true self in order to be accepted by the church. This led to feelings of isolation and confusion and made it difficult for me to fully embrace my spirituality. Despite these challenges, I knew that becoming a minister was my lifelong dream. I understood the importance of having a clear vision for the future and channelling every effort and energy towards achieving that goal. My participation in refereeing soccer matches taught me the importance of being a team player and sacrificing one's immediate gratification for the success and happiness of the entire team. I learned that the more difficult the victory, the greater the happiness in winning.